NEW MINI COURSE How to produce an authentically inclusive LGBTQ+ styled shoot


A glossary for LGBTQ+ weddings

As the author of Equally Wed: The Ultimate Guide to Planning Your LGBTQ+ Wedding, the cofounder and editorial director of the Equally Wed website and the course creator at Equally Wed Pro, I recognize perhaps more than some how important words, names, labels and boxes are—whether it’s a matter of usage or avoidance.

Gender is a complex and fluid continuum. One of the reasons there was a need for a book like Equally Wed was to finally break the mold of the heteronormative terms “bride” and “groom” used in wedding books. Even other books that mention same-sex weddings often call two female-identified people getting married two “brides,” even though that term isn’t universally appropriate in the LGBTQ+ wedding community.

By the same token, not all male-identified marriers want to be referred to as a “groom.” Social constructs are just that: a worldview built by society. People are complex, no matter what our...

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The problem when wedding pros say they don't care if the client's gay

communication Jun 28, 2019

By Kirsten Palladino

We’ve seen it over and over. We tell someone we’re gay, trans, queer, bi, nonbinary, etc. and the response is blasé. The person acts like they couldn’t care less … for a few seconds. And then they start talking again. And that’s where the problems start.

They say things like, “Just don’t expect me to go to any rallies.” Or “I don’t judge that lifestyle.” Or “What do I care who you like to have sex with? You’re still my friend/sister/brother/coworker.” And at this point you’re feeling a mix of acceptance and eyes bugging out of your head in complete bewilderment. Is this what being loved feels like? Maybe.

Sometimes the jokes set in at this level or perhaps we’re going to get lucky and not hear those this round.

When I talk to wedding pros around the world, I hear a variety of responses when I tell them who I am and where I work. Here are some of the...

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What trans people want wedding vendors to know

trans May 02, 2019

By Cassandra Zetta

In celebrating and educating for the LGBTQ+ community, we must also discuss the struggles and needs trans people have when wedding planning. Through tips shared in this article, we hope to begin to create a more open and safe space for the trans community within the wedding industry. The thoughts and experiences shared below are the reflections of contributing trans community members. Please keep in mind no two people or experiences are the same.

A foundational step in being an inclusive vendor is to only use gender-neutral language on your website, contracts and social media. Click here to learn more about creating inclusive wedding contracts. Gender-inclusive language sends the clear message to your clients that your business is a welcoming place for LGBTQ+ people—including transgender people.


“In general, I think the best way to be inclusive of trans folk is to be conscious and respectful about language,” says JB Fuoco. “Not...

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Who is the LGBTQ+ community?

lgbtq Apr 26, 2019

Let's go over the basics of the LGBTQ+ community, starting with who we are:

L = lesbian  

G = gay  

B = bisexual  

T = transgender  

Q = queer  

+ = everyone else in our community who feels more aligned with another identity, such as pansexual (sexual attraction not based on gender identity), genderqueer, agender, gender fluid or nonbinary (gender identity that goes beyond or between male or female), and more.

Queer was once a derogatory term but the LGBTQ+ community has reclaimed it as something we’re quite proud of. Not every LGBTQ+ person uses the word. It is more often used by people younger than 40. Queer can pertain to sexual orientation or gender identity. It’s an umbrella term for our community that’s much more accurate than the term gay or lesbian, since those words have much more narrow definitions. Transgender is the word used for people who do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. The correct...

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Always remember you're in the business of love

Love is the reason you got into this business in the first place. Love fuels the wedding industry. While the wedding industry is booming at $72 billion, it grew to that insane number because of love. Your work should support your living expenses and beyond, no doubt. Just because you love love doesn't mean you give yourself or your work away. You deserve to be paid justly for your work. But at the end of the day, your work should showcase your belief that you're in the business of love. Love is love is love is love. And your clients are in love. That's why they're hiring you. Of course, they're interested in your artisan wares, your modern aesthetic, your equality-mindedness, your incredible venue, your connections and your value of privacy. But the impetus of even having the need to hire you in the first place all goes back to love.


When you're in the business of love, how should you alter (altar!) your thinking? What does that even mean?

1 / Remember that your clients'...

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